making the most
Hey. It's me, Lucy.
I planned on starting this blog with some light-hearted introduction of how I am a washed-up Kanakuk princess (what does that even mean, I know) and washed-up Grace cheerleader, a proud member of the JV orchestra and JV golf team, and low-key nerd who has a deep love for Harry Styles.
This post is going to be a little more serious than that, unfortunately. (Check back soon for a much lighter, funnier post.)
Today I reflect on the last fourteen years I spent at Grace Community School- from preschool to senior year. I'm seventeen. Only three years of my life were not spent at GCS. Fourteen years is a big deal.
So... Why do I hesitate to admit that? Why does it seem as if it will be so easy for me to move on? Why am I quick to think 'Goodbye- no, good RIDDANCE'? Why does this next major step in my life- saying goodbye to GCS- seem so inconsequential?
That seems incredibly harsh, but I know I am not alone.
I've taken it for granted. Grace School has been a part of my life for basically as long as I can remember, so I don't know anything else. My Friday nights have been Grace football, or basketball, or soccer, or baseball for the majority of my childhood. This is just what I know.
This past semester has been weird.
First of all, the second semester of senior year is supposed to- by all accounts- supposed to be the easiest semester of your life. Instead, we have jumped into a thesis project that encompasses three of my six classes, two classes that I literally never want to show up to, and then my aforementioned JV orchestra class (my teacher gets mad when I call it JV but, hey, I just call it like I see it) in which we were required to do a duet- which is harder than it may sound to you.
Secondly, I had a seizure while watching Donald Trump deliver the State of the Union address. I know what you may be thinking but no, really it's okay- I'm fine. It didn't change anything, except that I have to now take two huge pills every night. I can't drive for three months (only one month left), and my dad is getting rid of my old faithful Honda HRV for a car that has a sensor in case I was to have a seizure while driving.
Lastly, (and this is the weirdest one for me) I am no longer a cheerleader. Cheer has never been my life, but in some sense- it has been my life for the past three years. I cannot say that all schools are like this, but Grace cheer takes up all your time. In the summer, we were together three weeks; the rest of the year we were together at least three times a week, ending once basketball (all hail basketball, it is irrefutably the best sport) season ends. Funny, though, because as soon b-ball ends it's tryout season, and then after tryouts (late March or early April) practices for the next year started. My team cheered for football, volleyball, basketball, a yearly cross country meet, a yearly soccer game, and would dress out in support for some baseball games as well. We also competed in the State cheer competition, hosted four pep rallies per year, and went to multiple fundraising/school events to represent the students of Grace. So, cheer was my life, though I never hung my life upon it. Ending my career cheering for the State Champion Lady Coog basketball team was the cherry-on-top of three really memorable years of cheer, but I was still overwhelmingly ready for it to end.
So, why did it kind of hurt when I walked into the cheer locker room today in desperate need of a snack (they always have food in there) and all of our pictures had already been replaced by the new team?
And, why was I in tears last night when I realized that I didn't get to spend the last two months of owning the HRV actually driving it? (My dad did let me take one last joyride earlier- don't tell my doctor or the cops ha.)
Finally, why do I sit in my little orchestra/English/government/Spanish/forensics/worldview class and get sad that I'll have to leave this place and these people even though I am completely, totally, irrefutably ready to be in college?
WHY?
Well, my little underlings, the answer is simple. I have learned to coast, to ride out the wave, and to take it all for granted. You might be able to relate because it's really easy to do.
It's easy to get to the end of something and just shrug your shoulders and say, "Whelp, it was a good run. Peace out, see ya never."
It's easy to drive around town and not think about the fact that that is a little shred of independence and, dare I say it, blessing.
It's easy to sit in class stewing in your "hatred" for the course and everyone around you and wish desperately to be out of this place.
DON'T.
One time at the end of a camp term, I was walking with one of my camp counselors, reflecting on the past month and the previous summers I had spent at Kanakuk. I looked at her and said, "I've been lucky because I've always had good counselors."
She looked at me and said, "That's not luck- that's called a blessing."
I've never forgotten that, but I've been really good at repressing that.
I'm not lucky to have cheered for the cougars for three years, to have been able to drive in the first place, to have a car, or to have gotten to spend the last fourteen years at Grace.
That's all blessings!!!
"Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."
James 1:16-17 NASB
We are loved by a faithful God who bore upon His Own shoulders the suffering we deserved in order to give us a life we should not have.
You've probably heard this before, but what do we do about it? You might be one of my fellow senior friends, thinking that's all well and good but I'm almost out- like, I can literally see the finish line. Can't I just start recognizing blessings once summer starts or when I go to college? Honestly, most days I feel that deeply.
Today, however, I am in my "feels" and so none of us are getting off that easily. Sorry.
To any younger person or anyone who may not be facing a dramatic life-change, start now. If you are interested in a class, be interested in it. If you want to start playing a random sport or fine art or experience what it's like to be in a musical, go for it. The time is now.
Seniors, what we have before us is a whole lot of lasts. Last sport, last concert, last prom, last day of school, last final, graduation. That's a summary of our next few weeks. Before we know it, we're going to be sitting in our dorm with our new roommate basking in the glory of our adorable new room. Time seems to be running out very quickly.
So, I propose, make a bucket list (an idea also inspired by my aforementioned camp counselor)- your last wishes as high school slowly passes away:
I planned on starting this blog with some light-hearted introduction of how I am a washed-up Kanakuk princess (what does that even mean, I know) and washed-up Grace cheerleader, a proud member of the JV orchestra and JV golf team, and low-key nerd who has a deep love for Harry Styles.
This post is going to be a little more serious than that, unfortunately. (Check back soon for a much lighter, funnier post.)
Today I reflect on the last fourteen years I spent at Grace Community School- from preschool to senior year. I'm seventeen. Only three years of my life were not spent at GCS. Fourteen years is a big deal.
So... Why do I hesitate to admit that? Why does it seem as if it will be so easy for me to move on? Why am I quick to think 'Goodbye- no, good RIDDANCE'? Why does this next major step in my life- saying goodbye to GCS- seem so inconsequential?
That seems incredibly harsh, but I know I am not alone.
I've taken it for granted. Grace School has been a part of my life for basically as long as I can remember, so I don't know anything else. My Friday nights have been Grace football, or basketball, or soccer, or baseball for the majority of my childhood. This is just what I know.
This past semester has been weird.
First of all, the second semester of senior year is supposed to- by all accounts- supposed to be the easiest semester of your life. Instead, we have jumped into a thesis project that encompasses three of my six classes, two classes that I literally never want to show up to, and then my aforementioned JV orchestra class (my teacher gets mad when I call it JV but, hey, I just call it like I see it) in which we were required to do a duet- which is harder than it may sound to you.
Secondly, I had a seizure while watching Donald Trump deliver the State of the Union address. I know what you may be thinking but no, really it's okay- I'm fine. It didn't change anything, except that I have to now take two huge pills every night. I can't drive for three months (only one month left), and my dad is getting rid of my old faithful Honda HRV for a car that has a sensor in case I was to have a seizure while driving.
Lastly, (and this is the weirdest one for me) I am no longer a cheerleader. Cheer has never been my life, but in some sense- it has been my life for the past three years. I cannot say that all schools are like this, but Grace cheer takes up all your time. In the summer, we were together three weeks; the rest of the year we were together at least three times a week, ending once basketball (all hail basketball, it is irrefutably the best sport) season ends. Funny, though, because as soon b-ball ends it's tryout season, and then after tryouts (late March or early April) practices for the next year started. My team cheered for football, volleyball, basketball, a yearly cross country meet, a yearly soccer game, and would dress out in support for some baseball games as well. We also competed in the State cheer competition, hosted four pep rallies per year, and went to multiple fundraising/school events to represent the students of Grace. So, cheer was my life, though I never hung my life upon it. Ending my career cheering for the State Champion Lady Coog basketball team was the cherry-on-top of three really memorable years of cheer, but I was still overwhelmingly ready for it to end.
So, why did it kind of hurt when I walked into the cheer locker room today in desperate need of a snack (they always have food in there) and all of our pictures had already been replaced by the new team?
And, why was I in tears last night when I realized that I didn't get to spend the last two months of owning the HRV actually driving it? (My dad did let me take one last joyride earlier- don't tell my doctor or the cops ha.)
Finally, why do I sit in my little orchestra/English/government/Spanish/forensics/worldview class and get sad that I'll have to leave this place and these people even though I am completely, totally, irrefutably ready to be in college?
WHY?
Well, my little underlings, the answer is simple. I have learned to coast, to ride out the wave, and to take it all for granted. You might be able to relate because it's really easy to do.
It's easy to get to the end of something and just shrug your shoulders and say, "Whelp, it was a good run. Peace out, see ya never."
It's easy to drive around town and not think about the fact that that is a little shred of independence and, dare I say it, blessing.
DON'T.
One time at the end of a camp term, I was walking with one of my camp counselors, reflecting on the past month and the previous summers I had spent at Kanakuk. I looked at her and said, "I've been lucky because I've always had good counselors."
She looked at me and said, "That's not luck- that's called a blessing."
I've never forgotten that, but I've been really good at repressing that.
I'm not lucky to have cheered for the cougars for three years, to have been able to drive in the first place, to have a car, or to have gotten to spend the last fourteen years at Grace.
That's all blessings!!!
"Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."
James 1:16-17 NASB
We are loved by a faithful God who bore upon His Own shoulders the suffering we deserved in order to give us a life we should not have.
You've probably heard this before, but what do we do about it? You might be one of my fellow senior friends, thinking that's all well and good but I'm almost out- like, I can literally see the finish line. Can't I just start recognizing blessings once summer starts or when I go to college? Honestly, most days I feel that deeply.
Today, however, I am in my "feels" and so none of us are getting off that easily. Sorry.
To any younger person or anyone who may not be facing a dramatic life-change, start now. If you are interested in a class, be interested in it. If you want to start playing a random sport or fine art or experience what it's like to be in a musical, go for it. The time is now.
Seniors, what we have before us is a whole lot of lasts. Last sport, last concert, last prom, last day of school, last final, graduation. That's a summary of our next few weeks. Before we know it, we're going to be sitting in our dorm with our new roommate basking in the glory of our adorable new room. Time seems to be running out very quickly.
So, I propose, make a bucket list (an idea also inspired by my aforementioned camp counselor)- your last wishes as high school slowly passes away:
- Do something you've always wanted to do- like going to watch a baseball game or a choir concert, or even write a cheesy blog post about the end of senior year.
- Tell a classmate something you've always wanted to say- like tell that one guy in your class that you don't really know that he dresses well, or that girl that you never actually really talk to that she is literally the funniest person you've ever met.
- Encourage a teacher- the one you've had for seven years that you really do appreciate him or the science teacher that she did the impossible and actually made you somewhat enjoy your science class.
Don't take it this time in your life for granted, because you are not lucky: YOU ARE BLESSED!
"Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or imagine or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen."
May we be rooted in Him that we never forget that how deeply, how mercifully we are blessed. May we use that knowledge to bless others.
Peace out my friends
Lucy
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