"sometimes i don't"



I'm a big memory girl. I'm convinced that a memorable moment is the best gift I could ever receive. Also, I am intensely scatterbrained and unorganized so physical gifts often do not last an incredibly long time under my care. (earrings especially- no matter how much I love them, I always tend to lose half the pair. I have a lot of very lonely earrings in my jewelry box.) That being said, things like concerts or fun dinners or kamp or driving thirty minutes to Andys on a Wednesday are things that I deeply cherish above all else. I don't think I'm super unique in that either.

This weekend, I went to my first music festival- ACL, right in my proverbial backyard. It was AMAZING. Guns N Roses, Tame Impala, Jai Wolff, RL Grime, JUDAH & THE LION (amazing fantastic unbelievable the love of my life!!!!!!), Billie Eilish, Childish Gambino. Ridiculous. Seriously such a fun thing and I even missed some of the biggest names.

Childish Gambino was the last performer I saw. He put on a show that felt like stepping into another universe. He fed off the crowd differently than any of the others and very intentionally made them a part of his performance. At one point, he turned to the crowd and said, "Put your phones down. Be here. Experience this." (Helpful for me because I am 5'2 and everyone's phones were blocking my view of the stage.) But also... A simple, powerful message.

Concerts these days- and honestly most human experiences and interactions, unfortunately- are infiltrated by phones and cameras. Don't get me wrong- photos and videos are good things but they often are not used to capture a moment but instead take the moment and hold it for ransom- a "pics or it didn't happen" mentality. We let the shutters steal from us a moment that was once ours in order to make it a public commodity because we feel it is a necessity. I'm as guilty as anyone. My ACL post was captioned "ACL Lucy or PCL Lucy?" and picture three was me sitting in the PCL, studying. It took me five minutes to get the third picture- FIVE MINUTES. Five WHOLE minutes of carefully situating my phone and camera and face to create the perfect final pic to round out the post. It's not even that good of a picture, or a moment worth documenting.

That is a really arbitrary example of a problem that is slowly eating our culture alive. We are so focused on capturing the moment to share with others that we often do not even share it with ourselves. Last May, I went to a Harry Styles concert at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. It was a huge venue, but Harry's stage was set up in the center of it, giving the whole audience a good view of the amazing performer. As Harry strutted back and forth across the stage, I found myself looking at the stage through my phone to make sure I had the videos for posterity's sake. At one point, he came to a second stage probably like thirty feet away from me (literally my dream). Once again, I was looking through my camera.

I have never once watched those videos. Probably never will.

My favorite movie is The Secret Life Walter Mitty. It is an incredible film. Ben Stiller's best work. He plays Walter Mitty, a photo developer for LIFE magazine. For the final edition, Walter is tasked with finding the famous photographer, Sean O'Connell (Sean Penn) in order to get his photo for the cover. He is forced to travel the world to find the man. He finally finds him, holed up in the Himalayan mountains trying to get a picture of an elusive snow leopard (the "ghostcat"). O'Connell explains the cloak of mystery in which the animal shrouds itself simply- "Beautiful things don't ask for attention."

The men chat, but then the photographer shushes Mitty and points- it's the ghost cat. Across the mountain, the majestic animal takes a slow lap and retreats to his hole. The men watch, O'Connell all but ignoring the camera as he stares across the range at the gorgeous creature. Mitty gawks at the photog. "You didn't take a picture."

"Sometimes I don't." 

 Mitty is confused.

O'Connell looks at him. "If I like a moment- I mean, me, personally... I don't like to have the distraction of the camera. Just want to stay in it. Right there. Right here." His eyes are teary, and the snowleopard walks away.

Sean does, too. Mitty follows, and one of the best scenes in cinema happens. A soccer game, at dusk, in the Himalayas. Music overlays the scene and all that is known is the joy of the players. A moment that is theirs completely- the audience is not invited in. It's a quick, beautiful scene.

I was reminded of that scene as Childish Gambino told me to put my phone down. We can all learn to take for ourselves some "ghost cat" moments. Moments where we consciously decide to put our phone or camera down and bask in the beauty of the experience. There have been times in my life where I've had a really good night or day or weekend and as I look back on photos to commemorate it on social media, the photos are low quality or somehow force a reality of the moment which takes away some of the magic. Whether or not the photo makes it on to my page, that moment is often soured in my memory because of the poor quality of the photographic evidence. That is a silly thing to write on a page, but I don't think it's a solitary experience of mine- many of you have probably experienced this in some capacity.

This is not a vendetta against pictures or cameras. They are things that can be really good and really pure. But, sometimes they can be a third-wheel intruder on something that would have been better, FULLER without its presence. (i.e. I've never watched those videos of Harry at his concert, except, ironically, for when I was actually at his concert.)

So, let's recapture the ghost cat moments. Let us not dilute the magic of any moment by looking at it through a lens. Lenses are used to enhance, and sometimes those moments don't need any enhancement.

Magic is real, folks. Let's not miss it in life's special moments.

(Also, if you have never seen The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, please please watch it. It's so good. If you have and missed out on the beauty of it, call me. Also, I'm probably going to write a blog about that movie by itself because it's forever one of the most powerful movies I've ever seen. Seriously, it's that good so go watch it.)











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