He shall be found... Like Himself

Welcome back to the BLOOOOG. It has been a while. Far too long if I do say so myself. 

Today, I wanted to tell you about one of my favorite experiences of senior year and, dare I say, college. During my final semester, I enrolled in a class about William Shakespeare. We read The Tempest, The Merchant of Venice, Antony and Cleopatra, and some others. Then, we jumped into the bulk of the course: studying and memorizing Julius Caesar so we could perform it at the end of April.

So let's just get one thing straight:

I am not an actor.

But, I acted. I played four characters (all small parts): the Cobbler, Cinna the conspirator, the third plebeian, and Lucilius. 

I loved all four parts, and they all invoked something different. Cobbler was a comedian. My job as I played him was to get the crowd going and excited for the rest of the play, as his scene was the opening, Next, I worked as Cinna with Cassius and Brutus (and the other four conspirators) to assassinate Julius Caesar. Cinna was one of the murderers (and we used real daggers which was really scary and I hated stage combat). The third plebeian was a commoner listening and reacting to Brutus and Antony's speeches, respectively. The third plebeian was a show of "sheeple" and shared responsibility for the murder of Cinna the poet, who met his death simply for sharing a name with the conspirator.

My fourth character was my favorite. Interestingly, many would likely rank him as the least interesting, because his big scene seems a little gimmicky. Lucilius is the servant/friend/second-in-command to Brutus, who is de facto leader of rebelled Rome at the moment. Lucilius is around for much of the second half of the play, but it is not until the final scenes that he has any real theatrical weight. 

For context, Julius Caesar is the eponymous tragedy of ancient Rome. First, the senators conspire to kill Caesar. They succeed, and two of the assassins-- Marcus Brutus and Caius Cassius-- take the helm as co de-facto leaders of the Roman Empire to try to institute a new kind of government. Brutus was previously Caesar's closest comrade. Caesar's main general, Marc Antony, challenges them for control of the empire, and a civil war ignites. Long story short, Brutus and Cassius lose the battle, and ultimately their life. Throughout the play, one question rings loudly: who is noble? Caesar was not. Though his death was through heartbreaking betrayal, he was a tyrant. Cassius, despite his attempts to create a "more perfect union" (if you will), wreaks just as much chaos and division as Caesar. Antony, despite his innocence in the assassination, also only cares for the status the position understandably brings.

Brutus, however, slew Caesar so that the Empire might live. He was upright in his reasons and honest in his dealings. He did not care for the politics or power, but rather for the people of the republic. He was the noblest Roman, and they all eventually admit it.

Okay, back to the story. Civil war is raging, Cassius is dead, Brutus is in hiding. Lucilius is fighting on the battle field in the wake of Brutus, who has escaped to his quarters in the hopes of delaying his death/ or dying on his own terms. Lucilius remains on the battle field with Cato, who is the son of the famous Cato. Cato is slain, and Lucilius surrenders to the enemy after claiming to be his master, Brutus.

"And I am Brutus! Marcus Brutus, I! Brutus, my country's friend. Know me for Brutus."

This is a BOLD proclamation. Lucilius is well aware that this choice will not leave him without consequence, but his words fool the soldiers he is fighting. His boldness seems symptomatic of a man with complete confidence in his leader, and he says it with so much gusto that he is arrested by the men he is fighting and taken to their commander, Marc Antony. Antony sees through his lie immediately and asks where Brutus is.

"Safe, Antony, Brutus is safe enough. I dare assure thee that no enemy shall ever take alive the noble Brutus. The gods defend him from so great a shame! When you do find him, or alive or dead, he will be found like Brutus, like himself."

"He will be found like himself."

What a statement. It's the statement of a follower who has complete faith in his leader. The statement of a soldier who will always defend his commander. The statement of a man inspired and enthralled with his friend's character. The statement of a boy who stakes his life on the person of his hero.

It's a bold proclamation of faith from a follower willing to give his life for his friend. 

Every time I practiced or performed this monologue (yes, yes, I know its short, but it felt like a monologue to me) I could only reflect on the idea that Lucilius is a disciple dedicated to his teacher. I could only reflect that when I claim to represent Jesus I am not always as bold as Lucilius was to claim Brutus. 

He is bold, unwavering, and firm because he serves someone he trusts is bold, unwavering, and firm.

Why am I so quick to doubt-- so quick to forget that my God is bold, unwavering, and firm?

 In 2nd Timothy 2:11-13, Paul writes to Timothy, "It is a trustworthy statement: If we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He will also deny us; If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny himself." 

We, as Christians, are therefore more than able to stand bold, unwavering, and firm, not because we have been faithful, but because in our faithlessness, He has proven Himself time and again. In every instance, Christ will be found like Himself.

He will be found forgiving.

He will be found kind. 

He will be found faithful.

... for He cannot deny Himself, despite how much we do.

Because of that, we may find ourselves as Lucilius. We should find ourselves more willing than Lucilius to stand and say, "Secure, Antony, Jesus is secure. I dare assure thee that no enemy shall ever defeat the sovereignty of my God. He is God, and no man shall put Him to shame! When you do find him, alive and reigning, He will be found like Jesus-- forgiving, kind, and faithful."

For the last few weeks I have been reading the book of Romans. In the book, Paul puts the Gospel on the witness stand and examines it from each angle-- against the antinomians (believed they were saved by faith alone and nothing needed to change) and the Judaizers (believed they were saved by works). Paul talks to them both-- we are saved by faith and our faith should spur us on to good deeds. Works are not salvific, but they do serve as tangible proof that our faith is alive within us. 

He makes his case for salvation, and then his case for evangelism: "For 'whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved? How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher? How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, 'How beautiful on the mountain are the feet of those who bring good news of good things!'" (Romans 10:13-15). 

How beautiful are the bold, unwavering, and firm feet who stand on the truth that their Lord is forgiving, kind, and faithful.

Six weeks ago I took a step of faith and committed to a Bible program called the Kanakuk Institute. I was skeptical. Why would I not put my degree to use? Why were jobs not working out? Why was God leading me here?

In the last two weeks, He has gifted me with dear friendships and great memories, and revealed more about my own sin and His righteousness than I have learned in a long time. Through that alone, He has proved his faithfulness more than I could imagine, but the skepticism didn't go away. I was still pretty unsure-- my friends from college have jobs or are in grad school, and it felt like that was where I should be, too.

Then, Keith Chancey got on the mic and said that if anyone needed an internship, there was a publishing house looking for an intern from KI. 

Ok, God-- game, set, match. You got me. 

He is forgiving and He is faithful and He is kind. And He was good and faithful and kind when I was rejected from jobs. And He was good and faithful and kind when I had my three seizures. In Daniel, three of God's faithful exiles in Babylon willingly choose to be thrown into a lion's den rather than bowing to the Babylonian king and worshipping his gods. Nebuchadnezzar asks Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego what god could possibly be more powerful than he is. They answer, "'O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to give you an answer concerning this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the furnace of blazing fire, and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, let it be known to you, O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up." (Daniel 3:16-18)

The point of that story is that He is faithful and good, and if He does not meet our human expectations, He will remain faithful and good. The point of that story is that the ending does not matter, because God is faithful if the fire burns us or if it misses us. 

So, in the words of Chris Renzema (just a modernized version of the reflective wanderers and exiles of the Old Testament) : 

"And I will build an altar

And stack it stone by stone

'Cause every Ebenezer says I've never been alone

My faith will surely falter

But that don't change what You've done

'Cause every Ebenezer points to where my help comes from"

So let us all be Lucilius-- may we be beautiful feet that stand and evangelize knowing that God will always be found like Himself. He cannot deny Himself. Lucilius delivers that line, and his master dies in the next scene. We can deliver our message knowing that our Master has defeated death. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego did not know how their moment would end, but it did not matter because they knew that ultimately their God would triumph. Let us not forget:

He is good, faithful, forgiving, and kind.

Love you mean it, but He loves you way more. Let's go love Him in public!

Sources: NASB Bible- books of Daniel, 1 Timothy, Romans; Chris Renzema "Just as Good", William Shakespeare Julius Caesar